Velvet’s Column



One question I have been asked on more than one occasion is, “What makes someone your greatest lover?”

This answer isn’t really that hard when one thinks about it! First and foremost, my lover must enjoy giving oral! If not, they won’t last long with me! Secondly, he must enjoy sex! Third, to me, kissing is a must and there must be plenty of it.

The ability of someone to follow instructions is also important to me. There are ways I enjoy my lover to perform, during both intercourse and oral, so that I enjoy it to the fullest. If not, I won’t have an orgasm and that sure doesn’t seem fair to me. I will give my all to make sure my lover has at least one! If one tries their best and it just doesn’t happen, that doesn’t mean they are out the door.

Imagine meeting someone and they honestly said, “I just don’t like sex.” Many people would turn tail and run or just not call again. One can tell within 5 minutes whether it is a love of sex or just the lust of being with a person.

Many men tell me that they have never had any complaints. Do they think that most women will tell the truth? No, if a guy was so good, then why isn’t he with the woman now? I have told men that if they don’t give me a happy ending (an orgasm), I will not see them again. Think about it; if a man had sex and never got to cum, would he hang around? Unless he is doing orgasm denial; that is where he is in the BDSM lifestyle and makes the choice to not have an orgasm until he is ordered to do so.

Passion is what most people lack. When I find a lover I share passion with, it feels so amazing. Every kiss, every nibble can make my body tingle and then bring me to orgasm much quicker! I often joke with people, “Go big or go home!” The reality is that a lot of men don’t know how to make love! Kudos to those of you that do. I have never understood why a man feels that slamming it inside my vagina and cumming within 5 minutes can be a good time had by all! Some of these guys are called two-pump chumps. There is nothing wrong with a man cumming quick the first time, but a man needs to be sure he doesn’t just blow and go. When a man brags about a 12 inch penis, I look at him and say, “Stick it up your own ass and see how it feels.” It hurts! Many women have spoken to me about this complaint and most say that men with huge penises make the worst lovers. Their reasons are the same; it hurts. Men don’t think they need to do anything more because they think their large penis is all a woman wants. Men with smaller penises try harder and women enjoy that more. Often, men just don’t know how to measure.

Some women hate the mess, some hate the smell. For those women, why not just use a condom? Even if a couple has been together for years, it’s better than not having sex at all. I didn’t understand how a married couple would need to do this, but now I do. It’s hard for women to tell their partner this. Communication is so important to us all. We need to tell each other what we want and how to get there!

Sometimes, we like it rough, but not every time. One night, soft and gentle, loving and compassionate! The next night, grab the hair and smack that ass. Talk dirty and make it exciting! I was once told that no one could have sex everyday with the same lover and have it be great. If one lays there and both do it the same way day in and day out, how can that not get boring? Invest in some fun toys and outfits and make it exciting! That’s what makes my greatest lover, just that! Forget that we are getting old, remember the drive-in! They are still around. Go one night and steam up the windows. Remember, if the car is a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’! Everyone needs to think of one place they have never done it! Make an effort and get on it!

Any man can be good at oral if he follows instructions! I find most men want women to tell them what we like. What one woman loves, the next one may not, so tell your lover how to lick, suck, and with any luck, he will become just as great as any lover that has ever been had! So guys, stop, look and listen, and you too can say that, “I am the world’s greatest lover.” It’s not about how many women a man has been with, it’s about how hard a man has worked at pleasing the woman he has! Treat her with respect and honesty and don’t lie to her and maybe she will still be there with you!!!



Ciao Velvet